The first time I was ever happy in my life was in 2009.I still don't know what it was that made me happy inside but I knew I was happy.The feelings of sadness,depression and loneliness were replaced with hope,happiness and a positive attitude.All of a sudden I didn't feel the need to go shopping every week just to smile.I went to the mall to hang out and other stuff but didn't get anything for myself.I even went to buy a few things for my loved ones but surprisingly I got nada for me.The old Samush would NEVER do that. I'm happy that I'm happy and I hope I continue to be happy because I know I deserve to be happy.Ok too many "happy" in this sentence but you understand what I mean right? With everything I've been through I just want to be able to smile because I want to smile not because I'm trying to hide the pain in my eyes and the hurt in my chest.I want to go shopping because I need something from the shop not because I depend on shopping to make me happy.
Last night,New Years Eve was overwhelming for me.I was going through so many emotions I didn't know what to do.First I was happy and excited about the new year,then I was upset and I still don't know why I was.Maybe it's because the year I found happiness in was ending and I didn't know what the new year will be like.Maybe I'm scared the happiness I found will slip through my fingers and I'll go back to how I used to be.I always look happy,but the problem is I'm not always happy,I'm always struggling inside and I have battles to fight that are way beyond my maturity level.
Regardless of how I feel or what I think about this new year and the future,I'll try to continue to be happy,stay positive,smile and hope/pray that this year will be good or even better than the last one.
Now I know what the "happy" in happy new year stands for.We all want to be happy,and it sucks to not be happy,it sucks even more to be happy but be scared that everything might change in the split of a second.I'm not letting this happiness go,I deserve it! X
P.S: 2010-Are we calling it two thousand and ten or twenty-ten? :S
Friday, January 1, 2010
HAPPY New Year
♥ ƒɾøṃ ѕαмiяα υρøṉ τhε ṡτɾøќε øƒ 3:19 PM
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4 ɾεṃαɾќṡ:
Don't be sad dear,hopefully 2010 would be better than 2009,you would be happier in 2010 than you were in 2009.
I think we can call it both,tho its easier to say twenty-ten sha.
Happy New Year!!!
PS:luv the template.
I hope your happiness will continue in this new year, don't feed the fear OK? You'll be fine.
Happy 2010 and yeah I'll be calling it twenty ten, lol
Aww thanks guys..I feel much better now and positive attitude is back..I agree twenty-ten is better hehe
twenty-ten yessir!!!
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